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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?